Day 04 - Your views on religion.
I was extremely scarred by my childhood religious experience. I was born into the Unification Church (yes people, I am/was a moonie)(I sometimes still consider myself one….) which my mom broke away from when she divorced my dad when I was 6 months old. (She told him while she was pregnant with me that she was leaving him.)
So I had my mom and my dad with total opposite views on EVERYTHING. I grew up with my dad and took all of his bull shit for 10 years, waking up at 5 every sunday, going to church in a disgusting, itchy, polyester dress that he got me because it was cute, and experiencing drama all around me with other families in the church. Late elementary school, getting publicly humiliated by the head of church community near home. Watching other children my age living for god with guide lines that were just appalling.. I don’t really want to go too far into it, but I’ll give you one example I can remember: we had to go to the bathroom and shower in at least pairs so we wouldn’t masturbate. (These children were between the ages of 7 and 15 at the time)
Ok, pretty fucked up. Once I finally moved in with my mom, let my mind reset [as much as it could] from the brain numbing, I realized how fucked up all of it was and how glad I was to be out of it.
I believe that religion is one of the best motivators there are in the world and if used properly can result in maximum possible happiness and success. Whatever religion that is for whichever person is up to that person. I sometimes wish I had a religion. I wept the other night about the discontinuation of life after death with my boyfriend. He told me it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s whatever you believe it is. (I do rather enjoy the idea of existentialism) Which calmed me some but it more just carried me over to the next point of discussion so I could stop crying.
But my point is, whenever I hear overly christian songs, verses from the bible, or people telling me that jesus is my savior and I have to believe in god, I become physically ill and want nothing more than to curl up in a ball and have them shut the fuck up. And you can’t blame me. For any of it.
I don’t know if there is a god, but I’ve lived my life thinking, if there is a god, he wants me to be a good person. If there isn’t, the point is moot, but I want to be a good person anyway. That’s all there is. Religion is whichever chosen mind set gets you through your life. I’ve chosen this one.
-
newfoundland56 liked this
-
mouarf liked this
-
whatisonthemoon reblogged this from littlegreenboxes
-
littlegreenboxes posted this
